coaching versus therapy

Coaching and therapy are two distinct disciplines that offer different approaches and benefits to individuals seeking support. Here are some key differences between coaching and therapy:

1. Focus: Coaching focuses on the present and future, assisting clients in setting and achieving specific goals. It emphasizes personal growth, skill development, and taking action. Therapy, on the other hand, often focuses on the past and present, aiming to explore and heal psychological issues, traumas, and mental health conditions.

2. Nature of the Relationship: Coaching is typically a collaborative partnership between the coach and client. The coach provides guidance, support, and accountability, while the client takes an active role in setting goals and driving the coaching process. Therapy, on the other hand, is usually a therapeutic relationship where the therapist takes on a more authoritative role in diagnosing and treating mental health issues.

3. Credentials and Training: Coaches may have a variety of certifications and training programs, but the coaching industry is not regulated in the same way as therapy. Therapists, on the other hand, require specific educational degrees and professional licenses to practice.

4. Scope of Practice: Coaching focuses on personal and professional development, helping individuals improve specific areas of their lives, such as career, relationships, or performance. Therapy, on the other hand, addresses a wider range of mental health issues, including anxiety, depression, trauma, and addiction.

It's important to note that while coaching can provide support and guidance, it is not a substitute for therapy. Individuals with significant mental health concerns should seek the help of a qualified therapist or mental health professional.

Have questions about Coaching? Schedule a coaching consultation today

Looking for Leadership, Career and Business Coaching? Follow this link to Organization and Leadership Consulting Services offered by Dr. Erica Shick. 

Healing Emotional Distress

People have been chasing how to elevate human suffering since the beginning of time. From spiritual advisors, shamans, wives’ tales to self-help books, life coaches, counselors, and doctors, humans seek the answer to healing emotional distress. Emotional distress is experienced on a spectrum of intensity depending on many factors including the event that led to distress,developmental, environment, cultural, and social trauma. Some in the field of psychology take the perspective that long-term moderate to severe emotional distress is a result of complex trauma. Nonetheless, the experience of life creates normal sensations of sadness, worry, and heartache. Without experiencing these emotions, we wouldn’t know what joy, happiness, and pleasure is. When sadness and worry turn into something long-lasting and create difficulties in our relationships, work, and daily tasks it’s time to address what is going on.

“Don't trade your authenticity for approval.”

-Unknown author 

What if I asked you to stop what you were doing right now to reflect on how you relate to the world? I know you are probably asking yourself, “What does this have to do with emotional healing?” We can learn a lot about ourselves when we understand how we make sense of the world and how we respond to the experiences of being human. We may begin to identify patterns of behavior such as drinking too much, spending too much, overworking, poor boundaries, perfectionism, and people-pleasing (the list is endless). These old survival strategies are signals and information for us to look closer at how we relate to an often-chaotic world at times. We learned, particularly those of us who experienced complex trauma as a child, that who we are is too much for the world and we trade our authentic self for approval and connection. We give up the core of who we are to fit into a world, community, and family for the sake of connection to others. This leads to coping strategies and moves us away from our core values and spirit.  Some of these strategies are often untapped strengths. For example, someone who overworks may be driven and reliable which is a great strength to teams and communities. It is when this asset becomes a distraction from what they could be avoiding that is an unhealthy adaptive strategy. Sometimes we get so lost in the seemingly helpful action that we don’t even realize it’s a problem until of course the discomfort becomes too great.

Continuing to act on old survival strategies can fuel thoughts and emotions that lead to a hamster wheel of emotional distress, depression, and anxiety. By noticing our strategies and becoming aware of how we respond to the world we are better positioned to try new ways of interacting with our environment. Is there a behavior or mindset you feel keeps you stuck? What causes emotional distress for you? Imagine for a moment if you could hold in your hand this thing that keeps you stuck.  You can look at it from all angles, each crevice. (Try to adopt  a non-judgmental stance when examining your relationship to the world, without criticism…just notice with curiosity.) How did this behavior keep you safe in the past? Do you still need it? What is waiting for you on the other side? How is it blocking you from getting what you really want? Once we have access into how and why we relate to the world we are better equipped to make changes, become gentler with our self and heal.

The work to healing can require a trained professional who can guide you through the process. If you have been working on healing without the gain you would hope to see, reach out…I am happy to explore what is holding you back from the place you want to be.

Copyright © 2021 Better Wellness Counseling, PLLC All Rights Reserved

One simple way to commit to New Year’s ambitions

It's that time of year again when people begin to talk about all their big, lofty goals or new year's resolutions. But let’s be honest, how many people really keep the resolutions or even remember what the goal was by the end of the year? Very few people. It's not just new year’s resolutions that get forgotten about. Many aspects of our life get the shaft when it comes to where we put our time and energy. This can lead to feeling burnt out, and worst case, symptoms of depression and anxiety.

In this article, you will learn one way to create change in the new year and across your life.

What would you say if I told you it can be as easy as one word to create change? Would you try it? About 12 years ago I got creative with the New Year’s resolution conversations my clients were having at the end of the year. I decided to ask clients to pick an action word they would need to accomplish their New Year’s resolutions. Followed by that they were asked to forget about resolutions and goals as they discussed the new year and replace resolutions with one word. This word would be used throughout the year to help them accomplish their tasks for that year, not just resolutions. Highlighting resolutions come and go…the real question is “What kind of life do you want to live?” Reluctant at first, most clients agreed to choose their “word of the year”. We used their words throughout the year in sessions to reflect how the word they choose could help them in their current struggles. Often the clients could apply the word to their life and use that word as fuel for change. This word was a value, it was something they needed to achieve whatever they were working on. The word was how they wanted to live their life. Since then it has become a tradition not only among my clients but for myself and my brother as well.

“I know nothing in the world that has as much power as a word. Sometimes I write one, and I look at it until it begins to shine.”

Emily Dickinson

At the end of the year my brother and I review the word we selected and discuss how we were able to use the word throughout the year. Next, we review what kind of year it was, how did we manage the unexpected, and did we live to the best of our abilities. 2017 turned out to be a stressful year as the medical POA for my father. As I reflected on 2017 and prepared for 2018 I selected “Yes”. This word was selected to help me by saying “yes” to more opportunities and excitement. What could possibly go wrong with “Yes”?  Let’s just say that year turned into the experience of a lifetime which then rolled into 2019.  For 2019 I choose the word “Fun” to continue the adventure, 2019 certainly turned into “Fun”, we will just sum it up with: What happened in 2019 will stay in 2019!  Choose your words wisely is the lesson I learned. This past year I borrowed a friend’s word of “perseverance”. This word saw me through a dissertation, starting a business, working full-time, and being a parent. I applied this word to all of the most important areas in my life.  As I contemplate 2022’s word and what I would like out of this year I choose “focus”. 

Focus

noun

fo·​cus | \ ˈfō-kəs  \

How to select your word

To get started with selecting your 2022 Word of the year journal or think about the following questions:

What do you need in 2022 to help fuel you?

What areas of your life are most important to you?

Have those areas been neglected?

At the end of December 2022, what do you want to be able to say you did during 2022 despite any surprises life threw at you?

These are just a few questions to help get the wheels turning. Next, write down any words that come to mind, look up the definition just to be sure it means what you want. After you have the definitions, notice any feeling in your body when you reflect on each word. I often prompt clients who are unable to pick a word to sit with each word. Try it on, how does it feel to say that word as your word for the year? The right word will feel right, it is a knowing. We can’t go wrong with picking a word and, worst case, you change your word during the year. Some clients have chosen a word for each month to focus on. Aside from word of the year or month I have invited couples to select a word of the year that they can use in their relationship. How could your relationship benefit from a Word of the Year? This would be a great opportunity between you and your partner to reflect on the relationship allowing for more closeness. Have a discussion using the questions above tweaking them for the relationship. 

Last but not least picking the word of the year is just the beginning. It also takes commitment to the word and the experience of trying something new. As exciting as trying something new can be, it also may be uncomfortable and requires the willingness to stay with the experience rather than avoid. A question to ask ourselves is, “ Am I willing to become comfortable with the uncomfortable?” while I practice a new way of responding to the world. 

Want to know more about the word of the year and how it can be applied to mental wellness, keep reading, otherwise May the Word of the New Year be with you!  

More on the WORD of the Year aka Values…

Often clients come to therapy with symptoms of depression and anxiety and when we step back to examine where they spend their time and energy it is often way off the mark to where and how they would like to spend their time leading to emotional pain. Sometimes clients aren’t even sure what is most important to them, as an ACT therapist we take some time to explore their values. (For this article Values is defined as 10 domains in life most important to people: partners, family of origin, parenting, work, learning, friends, voulterning, spirituality, self-care, hobbies). This isn’t to say there aren’t other factors that contribute to depression or anxiety, there are, and as humans, we are all doing the best we can with what we know. Once clients are clear on the areas of their life that have the most meaning they can begin to be mindful of the way they spend their energy and time. At first choosing a new way of approaching life can be difficult because clients are forced to set boundaries at work, with family and friends, look at how they were raised, and reflect on what it means to choose actions in service of their values. Sometimes I get push back when clients hear one must put themselves first. Some pushback is about codependency, finding their worth in caretaking, or difficulty telling people “no”. The emotions of shame, guilt, and obligation creep into the room. The question I have for them at that time is, “How is not living in service of your values working out for you so far?”

Values give a path to our lives. No matter the environment or event we have a choice of how we want to respond? Will my action be in service of my value, or will it be in service of avoidance? When we get off of the path of our values, we find ourselves in a land that is unfamiliar to us, despair and anxiety. However, when we align with ourselves, our values, and our people, life becomes manageable, and we live with more content. This was a micro introduction to values, the building block to change.

Copyright © 2021 Better Wellness Counseling, PLLC All Rights Reserved